Monday, June 18, 2007

Richard Oldstate's 24 Legionnaires!

Noted wrestling scholar and facial hair model Richard Oldstate has written a piece for my upcoming Legion book. He's too important a public figure to ignore, so rather than wait a year to show you his work, I figured I'd better post his contribution now, before he tries to regain control of this essay via complicated legal procedures and albino spider monkey attacks.

24 LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES CHARACTERS I THOUGHT OF WHILE SITTING IN MY HOTEL ROOM IN TOKYO, JAPAN.
(JUNE THE 4TH, 2007)

By Richard Oldstate

1.Awkward Silence Lad

2.Chicken-Like Boy Jim

3.Slightly Smaller Than Average Lass

4.Childhood Obesity Boy

5.Elliot, The Boy Who Can Travel Through Time, But Only Slightly, Like A Few Minutes Or So

6.Matter Regurgitation Lad

7.Static Electricity Lass

8.Big Baby Jesus

9.Slightly Larger Than Average Lass

10.Mutton Eater Lad

11.Excitable Boy

12.Conventional Wisdom Boy

13.Incredible Androgynous LadLass

14.Super Brazilian Jujitsu Master Lass

15.Superb Boy

16.Personal Injury Attorney Lad

17.Man Hands Lass

18.Gill, The Singing Cowboy, Who Sings Happy Songs For The Nice People

19.The Samoan Submission Android

20.Braniac Googolplex

21.Dr. Sympaathy

22.Admiral Tonkin Incident

23.Mitch Buchanan Boy

24.Ted Williams 4

1 comment:

Richard Oldstate said...

Huzzah!

Greetings and salutations and many, many thanks for the publishing of my
organized list, which contained many scientific rumors and conjecture. (Damn It!
If only the time machine would work! Instead of pondering the future, I could be
in the future.)

Ne'ertheless, I wish you the most gladdest tidings of all for the continued
success of your personal?private journal, on which you post many amusing
thoughts and drawings from your past. (If you seek to travel BACK in time,
forget it. It's simply not possible.)

Nonregrettably,

Richard Oldstate
Founder
National Democratic Society for Order