Noted wrestling scholar and facial hair model Richard Oldstate has written a piece for my upcoming Legion book. He's too important a public figure to ignore, so rather than wait a year to show you his work, I figured I'd better post his contribution now, before he tries to regain control of this essay via complicated legal procedures and albino spider monkey attacks.
24 LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES CHARACTERS I THOUGHT OF WHILE SITTING IN MY HOTEL ROOM IN TOKYO, JAPAN.
(JUNE THE 4TH, 2007)
By Richard Oldstate
1.Awkward Silence Lad
2.Chicken-Like Boy Jim
3.Slightly Smaller Than Average Lass
4.Childhood Obesity Boy
5.Elliot, The Boy Who Can Travel Through Time, But Only Slightly, Like A Few Minutes Or So
6.Matter Regurgitation Lad
7.Static Electricity Lass
8.Big Baby Jesus
9.Slightly Larger Than Average Lass
10.Mutton Eater Lad
11.Excitable Boy
12.Conventional Wisdom Boy
13.Incredible Androgynous LadLass
14.Super Brazilian Jujitsu Master Lass
15.Superb Boy
16.Personal Injury Attorney Lad
17.Man Hands Lass
18.Gill, The Singing Cowboy, Who Sings Happy Songs For The Nice People
19.The Samoan Submission Android
20.Braniac Googolplex
21.Dr. Sympaathy
22.Admiral Tonkin Incident
23.Mitch Buchanan Boy
24.Ted Williams 4
Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteGreetings and salutations and many, many thanks for the publishing of my
organized list, which contained many scientific rumors and conjecture. (Damn It!
If only the time machine would work! Instead of pondering the future, I could be
in the future.)
Ne'ertheless, I wish you the most gladdest tidings of all for the continued
success of your personal?private journal, on which you post many amusing
thoughts and drawings from your past. (If you seek to travel BACK in time,
forget it. It's simply not possible.)
Nonregrettably,
Richard Oldstate
Founder
National Democratic Society for Order