Sunday, August 02, 2009

I Write for CBR, But I Dance Harder

After making a promise to link to my CBR writing and, in general, update this blog a bit more, I have just simply failed to do anything. Twitter has abducted my blogging impulses and spit them out into short bursts of the clever. Or the not-so-clever but-merely-obvious. I suspect I'm not the only one who has fallen into its clutches and lost the will to blog. (Geoff Klock, do you feel the stare of kinship?)

Yet I've written so much for CBR over the past couple of months, and I have brought barely any of it to your attention. And you tell me that you sometimes don't even READ my columns or reviews unless I link to them here. I feel you on that. I don't read everything at CBR either (shhhhh, that's supposed to be a secret, because I tell everyone that I read all of their stuff all the time). I mean, I read my own stuff, because I always know that I'll find a typo that slipped by me the first time, and because I forget what I've written about ten seconds after I submit it (does anyone else have this problem, or is my memory just old and full of crusty bits?).

Really, it's about time I linked you to my recent stuff. So: I wrote a bunch of stuff about Captain America, way back in June. Remember Cap? Remember June? And an early review of/reflection on "Asterios Polyp" that I must have linked to already, but now everyone and their mother is all like "blah blah, it's the best graphic novel, blah blah" and basically just repeating the kinds of things I said way before they even saw the book. Try to keep up, okay everyone else?

What else? Oh, I had a bit of fun talking about the behind-the-scenes of the comic review and riled up Peter David in the process. I didn't do it on purpose, but it ended up stirring the pot o' X-fans nonetheless. Good times, I suppose, and it happened to coincide with something similar Roger Ebert talked about. Synchronicity? Or am I just a crotchety old guy too? Or maybe he was reading CBR and thought that he could steal my column topic and run with it? Maybe all of the above.

Then I talked up an obscure little title called, I think, "Wednesday Comics"? I don't know what happened to that series, but a couple of dudes keep trying to talk about it each and every week, even when one of them has no internet.

I dabbled in the world of cats and romance with Ethan Young, and then I celebrated my one year "When Words Collide" Anniversary the only way I know how: alone. I already told you about the New Awesomeness of SDCC 2009, so I won't bother linking to it here.

And I reviewed a TON OF STUFF. Like this comic about a guy who's really sad. And one about another guy who's kinda sad, but really, really fast. Nobody sad here, is there? And, oh, this review didn't get me any dates with the Shatterstar cosplay crowd. I don't even remember this one, but this one was Gruenwaldy! This one was disappointing, and this one made Joe Casey send me an e-mail, but now we're best buds so it's all good. This one was the best Daniel Way comic I've ever read, and this one was like that novel and TV show but TOTALLY different from what happened to Batman at the end of "Final Crisis" as someone pointed out to me vehemently in San Diego. This one has less ass hair than the first issue. This one features too little Bryan Hitch, and this one is pretty epic for a comic about two disfigured cowpersons. This one's rural noir, while this one is pretty good but not good enough for Andy Khouri. This one is like a tv show I wouldn't bother watching regularly, but isn't bad. This one has an Asgardian frog. This one: tends to piss people off unless they love it. This one I wouldn't take home to Mama. Dad, sure! This one's in space. This one's foldy. This one has big teeth. This one is too much splort and not enough anything good. This one was sent to me by an editor, but I suspect he wishes he didn't send it to me now that he's read the review.

Okay, now comment on all that stuff!


Brett Williams said...

"I read my own stuff, because I always know that I'll find a typo that slipped by me the first time, and because I forget what I've written about ten seconds after I submit it (does anyone else have this problem, or is my memory just old and full of crusty bits?)."

It's not just you.

Augie said...

I had a fun time trying to guess what comics you were reviewing based on the text in the link. Didn't do very well, but they still made me laugh.

And a belated Happy Column Anniversary.

And, don't worry about it: I gave up reading everything on CBR about a decade ago. It just got too busy.

Also, I concur: It's not just you. You can edit and proofread and set it aside and re-edit and re-proofread the next day all you like, but you'll always miss the most obvious mistake, whether it's the spelling of an artist's name or a misplaced comma that changes the meaning of a sentence completely.

We're writers; we're all screwed.

Geoff Klock said...

Tim -- it is not just you, and yes twitter has screwed with my ability to blog: how many blogs, I think to myself, are just inflated twitter posts anyway. And I third the idea that it is not just you with the typos. Never re-read your stuff once printed. Paul Valery said books were not finished they were abandoned.

Anonymous said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Bruce Castle said...

Hey, I thanked you for recommending Asterios Polyp!

I saw that Brainiac post from Roger Ebert! Wasn't that crazy? My two favorite critics are the same person! :D

On a more serious note, why do I like Ultimatum, Tim? You and I have very similar taste.

Everyone hates Hulk, but you and I like it for it is. I was hoping you'd feel the same way about Ultimatum...

I mean, I'm not insane. I don't love it or anything, but, for what it had to be, I enjoyed it.

Chad Nevett said...

I skim my stuff at CBR just in case there's some major mistake that somehow got past Augie and myself. I also try and read the rest of the reviews, but find myself skimming too many of them because they're of books I'm just not interested in. Never your reviews, Tim, though...

cj said...

Oh My God. Is that Grant Morrison with hair?

He's HOT.

I hate twitter. I've given it a new name. "Twatter". What do think?

Rebis said...

"Twitter has abducted my blogging impulses and spit them out into short bursts of the clever."

Ahhh. Well that explains the relative dearth of posts here. Another great mind, lost to the navel-gazing inanity of Twitter. (Twitter posts should rightfully be called "twits," not "tweets," don't you think? And I mean, just from an etymological standpoint. Though the double entendre is rich.)

It's completely your business, of course, Tim, if you wish to spend time on Twitter. I simply lament the resulting loss of your time and energy from this insightful blog. Nothing you can say on Twitter could match a well-developed paragraph or essay here. (And, while this might not be true for you, thanks to the obnoxious habit of people cross-posting to FB, I've seen that many twits end up being a private conversation held in the public of Twitter cyberspace.)

So, for what it's worth, count me among your readers who wish you still had time for GeniusboyFiremelon. At least I can still read you weekly on CBR.

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